IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding
pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when
someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I will share more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just
been straightened and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was
guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that
the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist in a miracle.

Instead of worrying about where my daughter's dad was throughout our relationship, I would have spent every waking moment molding her to be better than me.

Instead of living in a 3 bedroom home and struggling hand to mouth, I would have rented a one bedroom, quit 2 of my jobs and been more involved with my daughter and her activities.

When my daughter kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for
dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it ..
live it and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what we have been blessed with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves
mentally, physically, emotionally.

My life has been changed completely and from now on I am not taking anything or anyone for granted. My entire life flashed in front of me and when I heard that saying before it was hard to believe. Drastically and with force, my entire world was rocked. I may never be able to walk on my right leg. I may never be able to write correctly. I may never be able to speak or chew the way I have always known how to. Sad? yes I am sad. Mad? yes I am very mad. But what I have learned from the 3 human beings who have done nothing except eat, sleep, and breathe me and my accident, the past 8 days (since the 8th of March), is inconceivable. I knew how much I loved these people, I never understood their love for me. I took for granted their love. I took for granted alot of people's love. I never could grasp the fact when they told me they cared for or loved me. I didn't believe it. I always stretched for the inside reason. I know now there was no "inside reason". I am so sorry to you all for my one track mind. I am so sorry for the way I may have made you feel unloved. I apologize for ever leading you to think you were not good enough or you were not worthy. Who am I to ever think that? I am sorry. I am tired. I am hurting but I needed to type something I was going insane. . . . . .

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