There is nothing better in the world than waking up in a good mood. Lately that has been the case for me. I am energized and rearing to go. It's funny because I hear of winter depression and I laugh... Now I am starting to think that "winter depression" is what I suffer from. I don't know. Either that or I am completely crazy.

I am however under distress this evening. I am getting so exhausted listening to everyone in my life try to control me. I am frustrated at the idea of actually listening to any of them. In fact, I am actually doing the exact opposite just out of spite and in some cases it isn't the right thing for me to do. I feel as if my feelings and ideas and even my dreams are a laughing stock to all of my loved ones. It is as if when I say what I want and go after it, instead of being there to support me, they all laugh and wait for me to fail. If I succeed or follow through, I am stupid for doing whatever it is that I did. If I fail then it is a whole whirl wind of "I told you so's". I am nauseated by it to be wuite frank. It bothers me and most of all it hurts me. If I fail...then I feel. I learn from my mistakes, get up and brush the dirt off. Why is it that no matter what I do in my life it's always the wrong thing? Why is it anyone's business but my own. I should'nt have to feel as if I owe explanations to anyone. I shouldn't have to feel as if I need to keep my dreams hidden in case someone bashes them. It is so unbelievably stressful to me.

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