GOOD NIGHT STORY

So I have had a rough few weeks and the trial of it all is complete. I am so very relieved. I somewhat feel like a new woman. I have had an invisible test on who my real friends are. It was a victory for the most part but they all pretty much pulled through. I wrote alot of poetry this weekend...(Sorry, I am saving it for "Ruby's Fire".) I have decided to put the date off because I have alot more to say... I just was unhappy with the ending. I feel as though I need something shattering and I believe I have the solution.
I am having trouble with a few choice people in my life at the moment. I have faith that I have it under control. My friend Steven came with Liz and I on Friday night and we had alot of good conversation and alot of fun. He has made me feel secure on his end of our friendship. Steven goes by "another name" which I am choosing to keep private in hopes of not causing any problems in his life at this time. To sum it up, I am confident that that entire situation in which "Steven" is involved with will be clearing up to everyone's benefit, very soon.
The ski trip was an adventure. We had alot of fun and I also ran into an idiot (which you will read about in my earlier entries....SCROLL DOWN) I got alot of thinking done. I always feel as if I am flying when I am skiing. It is pretty close to the feeling I get while I am riding on the back of a Harley. That free, non stressful feeling. I feel as though I am so light and just me. It is awesome. Skiing and Harley riding are my two favorite past times. The times in which I get to actually close up my mind and breathe in the air and just relax. I get most of my ideas and poetry during these times. It is a con more than a pro because I don't remember alot of the words or the ideas because I am lacking pen and paper while doing these activities....but it puts it out there for me.
I just finished downloading the entire Freaky Friday Soundtrack for Hannah Emily. She is going to think I am Super Mom in the morning. I am sure we will be listening to that CD in the morning while preparing for our day instead of our Usual Mixed Cd. My mix CD consists of Audioslave, Godsmack, Nickelback, Puddle Of Mudd, Korn, Tool, Alanis and Sheryl. It is my favorite. It is a morning ritual. Hannah eats her Waffle Crisp and plays DJ and I am straightening my hair and applying my face.
I am getting really aggravated with my friend Anthony G. We got in a fight on Saturday night because he is just such a conceited self centered whore who aggravates my every nerve. We used to be pretty close and now he is just a dick.
I like to talk to him because he is a good listener. Then he can just get so mean and so critical. He is a snob and really has no right to be. I just get annoyed at his comments. I don't understand why he says the things he says and then will call me up the next day as if nothing happened. "BEAUTIFUL LIKE YOU" is my song to him.....among other ones that I have displayed in the past blogs. Hey, Gags...Stop being the way you are. Be yourself. I liked you alot better as you.

I have decided to write every night from now on because I think that is important for everyone to have some sort of closure with their feelings. Too many people, close to me or my family, have passed on with out ever really showing how they feel. Noone ever had closure with them. I do not want anyone who loves me or even hates me to have to wonder after I am gone. I don't mean to sound so morbid and I do not have any intentions of leaving the earth yet but I just feel better atleast telling everyone I love, how much I love them and atleast to say Good night.

So in closing I would like to do just that.
Liz and Spanky are on their way to New York and I hope that they are safe and I want them to know how very much I love them and trust them and how much they sincerely mean to me. Renae just left my house and I want her to know that I love her and that I hope all goes well with her "Love Life". Chrissy, Linda, Jax..... I love you all and I am so glad I have you as my friends. Mom, Amy, Kathy, Kerry, Trish, and Bet I wuv you unconditionally and I would die for you all.
Andrew, Sean and Cassie....same goes for you. Brian and Zig, I love you guys and always will. Tony, my love, I love ya and will be with you very soon. Most important..... Hannah Em's, You are my light, my dark, my day, my night, my stars, my moon, my earth and my world. You are my rainbows, my heart, my life, my breath. I could not possibly love you any more than I do. You make my life all worth while good and bad, thick and thin. You are the very reason I wake up every single day. I never want to lose that feeling. To anyone I missed whom I am close to..... I love you all and Good night, Sweet Dreams, Rest soundly and safe and never for a minute believe that you are unloved.

Sorry if I forgot anyone. I have had a long weekend and I am so ready for bed. Time for the big cloud of a bed to take me away.

Ga Night Sunshines
Until tomorrow.
Ruby, Katie, Crimson, Cherry, MaMa