YEAAAAH I am still alive

I have been so busy for the past few months. The move to Phoenix finally did happen. It just took longer to get settled than I expected. I am still trying to catch my breath.
I am going to start bloggong regularly. I promise. I have actually missed the venting process. I miss it muchly.
I hope everyone is well. I have alot to catch you up on but I am not worried. I have my whole life ahead of me to tell you my stories.
I'll be back in a few days to start my journey of words for you.
Ta Ta for now!
xoxox

2006

Ahhh And what shall 2006 bring for me? I hope better things. I am so tired of the daily nitty gritty. I long to be a princess. I am still waiting for my knight in shining armor to come and rescue me from this insanity called my life.
New Years eve was a good time. I was completely fucking trashed and happy. Everyone else seemed to be as well. We journeyed up to Portland, Maine this year to visit friends and Man was it a good time. I enjoyed every second of it.
So What else? It's been awhile. Brian and I are forever through. We will never rekindle anything after the Christmas nightmare. But that really means nothing to me anymore since I have my greedy paws on someone else lately. Ahh yes. My handsome boss. I have had my eyes on him for a very long time and now I have him. I will go into detail about that later because I need a tall glass of wine and a cigarette for that particular conversation.

I hope everyone had a fantastic Holiday, Christmas and New Year.
I didnt realize how long it has been since I wrote on here. I am so wrapped up on Myspace that it consumes my every being. Oh well.

I have decided to blog daily so hopefully I can commit to that . . .since I don't commit to ANYTHING EVER in my life.

Ahh I am staring at my boss right now. I adore his every being.
Time to go into his office I think.

Have a perfect day!

BIKETOBERFEST

Biketoberfest was not as great as it was last year. I was not entirely impressed by anything actually. I could not wait to return home.
Jagger and I had alot of fun though and that is fine with me. The weather was okay in Florida but again not impressive. I am glad to be home though. I missed Hannah and I actually missed work. ha ha .
So I found a new bass player for Ruby's Fire. I am so excited. He is from Long Beach. Really punk like. He's wicked cool. Brian and Jagger really liked him too which is a definite plus.
Still working on the lead guitar. He is picking up most of the songs fast but still has no personality. I will have to call one of the girls and get him laid or something. He is so uptight and never socializes. He is all about the music which I guess is key so why am I complaining?
I talked to Sully last night. He and his friend Richard will be in Boston tomorrow night. I told him I would go visit him in town but after the new Lifetime Movie... oh my GODDESS it's a good one.
I guess Godsmack is doing a new album. Good Stuff. I am excited now. Something to look forward to.
Anyway,
Things around here havent changed much. Paul and I are fighting like Banchies and I can't stand living near his family. I feel like I am being spied on constantly and it bothers me to the core. Soooooooooooo I bought a condo in Abington. I am so tired of renting. So yes my pretties, Katie Anne is moving again but this time to seclusion. haha I hate living on a main intersection. I need to get the hell away from the Haddad family. They are all crazy. Seriously. CRAZY.
Hmmm. What else?
Oh!! Cole and I are no longer even friends. He is bipolar I am beginning to think. He has absolutely no idea what he meant to me and that bothers me a bit but whatever. On to the next. I will miss him terribly and think of him for a long time. I packed away all of his pictures and things around my house which belonged to him and I am moving on. I think he os married anyway. I don't ned another married man. I wish he could be the man I met three years agao. He has changed so much and it is just too painful to watch someone self destruct.
I think that's all for now. I havent had much excitement lately.
Spanky and I are talking again and that pleases me. I miss him and Willy lots and it's good to have them back.
What else? It's been so long since I blogged on here because of my other one...
So I will remember things as I go. Until then, I am going to get my massage and have my nails done with Marquis. She is going home tonight and I want to go with her.
Have a pleasant weekn and I hope to see everyone this weekend at the Harp for my Halloween Bash! xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

I'M SCARED TO KNOW I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND....

MATTHEW- AMAZINGLY ENCHANTING WITH HIS EYES OF BRIGHT BLUE. HE WILL BUY ME, STEAL ME OR BORROW ANYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT I WANT. HE WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS TO SEE ME. HE WILL SHOWER ME WITH DIAMONDS AND PEARLS AND ALL OF HIS UNDYING LOVE. AND STILL HE SICKENS ME.

BILLY- ABSOLUTELY HANDSOME WITH HIS HARDCORE ATTITUDE AND PUNK WEAR. COVERED IN TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS. I LOVE THE WAY HE KISSES ME AND PLAYS THE TOUGH BOY ROLE UNTIL I GET HIM BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AND I RULE. HE TURNS INTO A COWARDLY LION WITH NO BALLS AT ALL. WHICH IS WHY I CAN'T STOMACH HIM FOR TOO LONG.

JOSEPH- UNBELIEVABLY HOT WITH HIS BALD HEAD & TATTOOED NECK. MAKES MY BODY QUIVER WITH ONE TOUCH. ALWAYS HAS ADVISE AND HE BLOWS ME AWAY WITH HIS NEVER ENDING KNOWLEDGE. HE LOVES TO TAKE ME ON HIS BIKE TO DESERTED PLACES. HE THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING THOUIGH AND THAT IRKS ME SO.

BRIAN- MY LOVE. MY HEART. MY SOUL. HE WILL MURDER FOR ME. HE WILL HURT SOMEONE IF I SAY SO. HE WILL ASK HOW HIGH WHEN I SAY JUMP. HE WILL KISS MY FEET, PAY MY BILLS, GIVE ME LOVE UNTIL I SAY STOP. AND THEN HE WON'T STOP. HE IS DEFIANT IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE AND I CAN'T BEAR THAT.

COLE- THE ONLY ONE WHO'LL EVER HAVE A SHOT. HIS LACK OF ATTENTION TO ME IS UNBEARING AT TIMES. HE'LL CALL AND WE'LL SPEAK OF OUR DREAMS AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS FOR WEEKS AT A TIME. HE CRAWLS BACK WITH THAT INTOXICATING SMILE AND I TAKE HIM BACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I WILL MARRY HIM SOMEDAY.

JAGGER- MY SOUL MATE. THE ONE WHO MAKES MY HEART SKIP WITH ONE GLANCE. THE ONE WHO EDUCATES ME WITH HIS MIND AND HIS SOUL. THE LOVER WHOM WILL NEVER LIE. HE WILL CHEAT, HE WILL CON, BUT HE WILL NEVER LIE ABOUT EITHER. HE MAKES MY INSIDES BURN FOR HIM. HE MAKES MY MIND GO MAD.

MIKE- POWERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, AMAZINGLY CHARMING AND HARDCORE ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. HE'LL SIT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW AND STRUM HIS GUITAR AND SING OUTLAW LOVE SONGS UNTIL I WAKE UP. HE'LL TAKE ME AWAY TO FOREIGN PLACES AND WE'LL DANCE UNDER THE MOON AND IN THE POURING RAIN. THEN HE GOES BACK TO HIS WIFE.

BRUCE- MY BEST FRIEND, MY SECRET LOVER, MY LAUGHTER. HE ROCKS MY WORLD WITH HIS CHARASMATIC WAYS. ALL OF THE LADIES BEG TO HAVE HIM EVEN JUST ONCE, AND I CAN HAVE HIM WHENEVER I WANT AND YET I CAN'T STAND HAVING HIM FOR TOO LONG.

I LOVE THEM ALL, I CARE FOR THEM MUCHLY. I AM SCARED TO GET TOO CLOSE. I CAN'T SEEM TO PUT MY FINGER ON IT. I AM SO CONFUSING TO ALL OF THEM.

AMAZING

You guys are WICKED LOSERS!!!!!
You will never be able to bring me down


www.rubysfire.com

The one I now know I want

I sit and I reflect on these past few months. I have even wandered back as far as last year. I chuckled thinking of the memories. Pondering the conversations I have had, and the wonderfully amazing people whom I have met. The oppurtunity that has been sprung upon me could not have come at a better time. The final chapter of this nightmare like book has ended. The "book" meaning my life. This part of my life, like a torn page, is finally gone.
It is such a huge release to me. Incredibly enough, I feel so optimistic. I have cut my ties from many people. People whom I thought were my friends, when in reality were only back stabbers, who held me back from what I am really supposed to be in my life.
Not only do I have my dream job, but I have already been complimented on my work and they are discussing already promoting me to a bigger and better position because of the fact I have picked up on it so fast and offered ideas on bettering the company and they were impressed. I am incredibly content. Finally. It's been a long time coming. So. Financial Situation... CHECK. Now. To work on my home situation.
I have been offered to share a 4 bedroom home with Brian. Renae and I have been discussing renting a house. I was thinking of renting my friend Matty's condo in Rockland. It is vacant now and all he wants is the mortgage. So my friends have come through for me. IT's just a shame that I opted to eject from my current home.


www.rubysfire.com

EXHAUSTED

How could you just walk away and never turn back?
I stand here and watch you. I am watching you leave me.
After all that we have endured throughout these many years and you are gone.
You left not one thing for me to remember you.
It's all empty here.
I am completely empty inside.
I want to make you turn and see me.
See the expressions on my face.
See my tears.
I can't shout. My tongue is numb.
The words aren't audible.
My heart cannot comprehend the reasons.
I don't know what to do.
I was wishing on the stars tonight and I felt like you were here.
You have always been the fire that burns my midnight sky.
Now there is just ice chills.
Back then I felt as if you had broken into heaven,
Just to roll back the clouds.
You and I were on a mission
We searched and found eachother
IT was a one and a million love
You gave me that sacred kiss
We said we would never, ever chance it
We thought we would never miss
NOw I lie in bed and cry myself to sleep
I wonder where you are.
Are you tickling someone elses back?
Are you kissing her neck and her forehead?
DO you think of me like I think of you?
When can I breathe again?
I just want to kiss your face.
Who is going to whisper through my silent tears?
Who is going to chase away all of my fears?
You are gone baby and I am so broken.
The only way I fall asleep is to cry.



www.rubysfire.com

I can't keep my eyes off of you . . .

No matter how hard I try I can't get away from him. He intoxicates me with one glance.
He makes the grandest of impacts on my being. He forces me to think. He allows me to imagine what could be by his touch alone. His scent. His walk. His words. They spin me into this web of feelings that I end up attached and stuck to for good. Everything he says is like a perfectly written song. I walked by him this morning and I felt my skin well up with goose bumps. HIs eyes pierce right through my heart. I am so wrapped up in this tornado of emotions and I can't break free.

www.rubysfire.com