POURING RAIN

Ever been so agitated and confused that you just wanted to scream. I am so unbelievably stressed out and I am just wigging. I feel like there is just not enough time in a day to actually get anything I want to do. This is extremely frustrating to me. I need like 4 more hours in a day. Seriously. I wake up, fly to work by 7, work until 5:30-6 and then go pick Hannah up, make dinner and then Bed time. You would think that my Christmas tree would be up and decorated but Noooo it's not because I don't have 2 minutes to my self. My phone never ever ever stops ringing. I have to cook dinner, I have to help Han with homework, I try to do laundry and basic clean up but I mean I will be up past midnight every night if I seriously cleaned the crib. Oh and Christmas Shopping hahahahah thats funny. When do u think I should squeeze that in? Before or after my nervous break down. It is so pathetic how much I am complaining considering it could very well be worse. i mean I could not have a house to clean, I could not have a beautiful daughter to help with homework, and I could be jobless. Yeah things could definitely be worse!
My friends are starting to wonder if I am alive and if not that they are curious if I found God or something because I have not been out in a while. I don't care to hang out at a bar with 6 of my girlfriends and sit around gossiping about everyone else because "Noone is better than us". I don't like to get so belligerently drunk that I can't see when I leave the place. I don't want to hang around club houses anymore. No more after hours partying for me.... oh boy I am such a grandma.... but still. I would rather have the chickys over my house, watch a movie and just relax with some beers or wine. i am so gay I know but whatever.
I want to settle down and feel stable. I am ready to buy a house, settle down with a nice man who loves me and Hannah, travel with him, rent a beach house in the summer and seriously just be so incredibly happy that it hurts. I am so tired of the bar scene and the dating. I hate it in fact. It bothers me. I am sitting here at work despising my job, hiding from this Gosh Darn family of mice we have here, and I just wanna go home and sit on my comfy couch and watch Lifetime for the rest of the day. Wahhhhhhhh I am just ready to turn the page of this part of my life and start over with a fresh chapter. Do you know what I mean? Well at any rate. I am going home and I have a few haircuts and colors to do at home and then I am supposed to go out with Tony for some drinks or whatever. Not quite sure if we are definitely going. I would like to but I have not heard back from him yet. I have to go have a cigarette and shoot the shit with Justin and Larry out back. They have a funny story for me and I cannot wait to hear it. Talk to you all soon. eewwwww it is so pouring rain right now! And my hair is straight today too. Shit!
Ba Bye!
Rubes