So, apparently today I was 86'd. What in Goddesses name does 86'd mean? Yeah so anyhow, H calls me up at work and tells me that I am 86'd from him and his "club". So I talked to people about what the hell 86'd meant and they gave me an answer which was this. You go to a restaurant and order a burger but do not want a tomato on it. So the waitress tells the cook "Gimme a burger but 86 the tomato." So apparently his club is the burger and they don't want the tomato anymore. I am still laughing at that analogy. I found it quite humorous in fact. Thanks Liz. Ahhh but the thing about the whole Burger is that I like to call my burger "revenge". And you see a good friend once told me that Revenge is served best cold.....so....I intend to let my burger get ice cold and then serve it with a smile..... Payback is such a bitch H isn't it? You would think that a grown man (and I mean grown) would handle things maturely but Noooo not him. He has to be a big baby and fight viciously because I don't want to be with him anymore. It makes no sense to me and I am going to miss my dear friends in the club very much but I will eventually get over it. S and B and B and L...... Love you guys very much...it's too bad and I know you feel the same as I do.
I see it as a blessing in disguise.

On a lighter note, I am ready to jump directly off of the Tobin because I cannot get rid of this flu. I fought it all day with vitamins and orange juice and flu meds but I am dying here. Can someone please help me out here? A bullet maybe?

I have alot to do for the book. Alot of editing and I have not even started any of it. I took a few weeks off for sanity reasons. I got all of my "permission slips" signed. So most of the names are real names. Some have been changed because I did not receive any slips back or I could not locate them. Now I have to write in the 86'd part. That should be a fun chapter. I definitely won't be able to use real names for that but most of you will get the "jist". Dopey, Daffy, Dingy, dumby, and drunky. hahaha

I have never seen blue like I have today. I am tired and sincerely upset about this whole 86 thing. To be honest it does bother me a little because I have somewhat of a history with some of them. Especially the "younger" ones and the ones whom I did not have a relationship. One that I talk to on a daily basis and enjoy that. But now I cannot and yes it bothers me alot! I am a bit crushed but not because of H but because of the men I knew before him and established friendships with and now it is over. Just like that. One phone call is all it took and over something so unbelievably petty. Whatever makes H happy. He will be kicking himself in the ass sooner or later.........

It is funny how my day always seems to wrap up. I cook, clean, and settle Hannah down and then we lie down and snuggle. Tonight I will be all alone because she is staying at my moms because I have to work early tomorrow. Now my whole "routine" has been thrown through a loop. I am sort of lost and lonely. I might just go stay at my mom's tonight. hahah
I get nervous staying alone. Wahhhhhhh

I just got back from getting my manicure and pedicure and I need to strip the paint because I hate the color. The bitch put the wrong color on me. It looks terrible but I had no time to make her do it over. Oh well.

Well it looks as though my plans for the night have changed. I am going to stay here and my friend is going to come over and hang out with me for a few and now I can vent to her. Hopefully she can shed some humor upon me. I am aching to laugh.

My foundation was robbed. I feel unbelievably alone. I feel divinished.
Sad huh?


Banish him into a different zone
Make it so he will always roam
Banish him with all of your might
Make it known to me tonight
On the moons cusp
In the darkest light
Banish him Goddess with all of your might