12/31/2001 ~PAH

I was afraid you'd hit me if I'd spoken up
I was afraid of your physical strength
I was afraid you'd hit me below the belt
I was afraid of your sucker punch
I was afraid of your reducing me
I was afraid of your alcohol breath
I was afraid of your complete disregard for me
I was afraid of your temper
I was afraid of handles being flown off of
I was afraid of holes being punched into walls
I was afraid of your testosterone
I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

you were my best friend
you were my lover
you were my mentor
you were my brother
you were my partner
you were my teacher
you were my very own sympathetic character

I was afraid of verbal daggers
I was afraid of the calm before the storm
Iwas afraid for my own bones
I was afraid of your seduction
I was afraid of your coersion
I was afraid of your rejection
I was afraid of your intimidation
I was afraid of your punishment
I was afraid of your icy silences
I was afraid of your volume
I was afraid of your manipulation
I was afraid of your explosions

I have as much rage as you do
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

you were my keeper
you were my anchor
you were my family
you were my saviour
and therein lay the issue