What the Fuck am I talking about?
Today has been one of those days. . . I guess. What I see has not been what I get.
It's clear to me that I am meant to constantly have a bad day at some point.
It was cold. I heard my cell phone alerting over and over again. That stupid song from Ashlee Simpason LA LA LA LA LA AL ALALALALA DIE DIE DIE!
I knew it was 5:30 am and I wanted no part of waking up and stepping back into reality. Dream time was over and I had to get myself pretty.
I squelched in a high soprano when my naked foot touched the hardwood floor. It was like stepping onto a frozen pond. I leaped and fumbled around looking for my slippers. I started the shower, let it run for a few minutes and grabbed my bathrobe. I turned the heat up to a solid 90 just because it is just so much colder in the morning, no matter what.
I glared out my window at the 10 or so inches of snow that was plopped ontop of my car and cursed out loud. I started brewing my latte. Cursed some more. I stripped, jumped into the shower and just sat there slumped while the hot water pelted down my back. It was great. I didn't want to move.
I thought about Brian for some reason, as I was shaving my legs. It was weird. I am so madly and scarily in love with him. But I can't get back with him. Why is that? He and I share this love, lust, friendship like nothing before and yet we just will not get our acts together. In our defense, we do get rather psychotic. We are pretty dangerous together. But I love him so incredibly much that it is actually painful. I think however that I am not IN LOVE with him. I think it is just this bond we share. This mental connection. Almost family like love.
Anyways, how like me, to branch off of the initial plot.
I finally make myself get out of the shower.
I stand in front of the mirror and notice the 28 year old sags I have unwillingly allowed to reside on my once firm, perky, body. I cringe and start putting on my lotion and quickly realize I have cut myself shaving. Why don't you feel the initial lash but when you start to see the blood, you feel the pain? I winced and grabbed a band aid. Now at this point I am already hating my life. haha. Go figure. I grab my latte, sign onto my email and looked at the time and once again cursed out loud. Went into Hannah's room to wake her up and realized she was not there . . . she was cuddled up in a ball on the bottom of my bed. I leaned over and tickled her and pressed kisses all over her so she'd wake up. I turned the new on because I had a feeling there would be no school today. She finally jumped up from a supposed "sound sleep" when I uttered the words "Abington has no school today cookie". She jumps up and starts getting dressed knowing full well where her day of fun would be. . . At my mom's. She is so figgan cute man. At that very moment is when I smiled my first smile of the day. Watching her put her sloppy boots on and her Boston Red Sox hat because that was the hat I was wearing.
I walk miserably through the snow piles to my snow covered car. After a few minutes of dusting it off and many many curse words, my attractive neighbor walks over and offers his hand. I quickly sat back and pretended I was useless as he cleaned every inch off with a smile. Man I wish he was single. He would so be mine.
Now I am off to work. I drove aimlessly to work. I was tired.
So here I am. Another day of the same friggan thing. Balancing millions of dollars, cutting paychecks triple what I receive and living in complete envy while doing it.
I have found myself completely addicted to MYSPACE. You should check it out. www.myspace.com
It is a wonder to me. I can't seem to get enough of it actually. It's quite nauseating. However, there are a ton of up and coming GREAT bands I have found. I am excited about that.
Bla Bla Bla Bla.. I have lost my motivation to write again. I think I have A.D.D.
I just cannot stay focused anymore.
Fuck! I used to love to write. I also used to have alot to say. Maybe this is the underlying issue here. I used to live a wild and crazy life. And while I still do live a crazy life, it is not as often. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I feel as though I am lacking something now. I was never at a loss for words and all of a sudden I am.
I think it's time I spice it up again. Bring it up a notch or two.
This monogamous, never changing daily routine I have grown accustomed to is just not hacking it.
Alright peeps. I am so going to get some work done.
Talk to you tomorrow . . maybe. . if my newly acquired A.D.D. does not beat me tomorrow as well.
xoxo
Ciao'
Ruby
www.rubysfire.com
It's clear to me that I am meant to constantly have a bad day at some point.
It was cold. I heard my cell phone alerting over and over again. That stupid song from Ashlee Simpason LA LA LA LA LA AL ALALALALA DIE DIE DIE!
I knew it was 5:30 am and I wanted no part of waking up and stepping back into reality. Dream time was over and I had to get myself pretty.
I squelched in a high soprano when my naked foot touched the hardwood floor. It was like stepping onto a frozen pond. I leaped and fumbled around looking for my slippers. I started the shower, let it run for a few minutes and grabbed my bathrobe. I turned the heat up to a solid 90 just because it is just so much colder in the morning, no matter what.
I glared out my window at the 10 or so inches of snow that was plopped ontop of my car and cursed out loud. I started brewing my latte. Cursed some more. I stripped, jumped into the shower and just sat there slumped while the hot water pelted down my back. It was great. I didn't want to move.
I thought about Brian for some reason, as I was shaving my legs. It was weird. I am so madly and scarily in love with him. But I can't get back with him. Why is that? He and I share this love, lust, friendship like nothing before and yet we just will not get our acts together. In our defense, we do get rather psychotic. We are pretty dangerous together. But I love him so incredibly much that it is actually painful. I think however that I am not IN LOVE with him. I think it is just this bond we share. This mental connection. Almost family like love.
Anyways, how like me, to branch off of the initial plot.
I finally make myself get out of the shower.
I stand in front of the mirror and notice the 28 year old sags I have unwillingly allowed to reside on my once firm, perky, body. I cringe and start putting on my lotion and quickly realize I have cut myself shaving. Why don't you feel the initial lash but when you start to see the blood, you feel the pain? I winced and grabbed a band aid. Now at this point I am already hating my life. haha. Go figure. I grab my latte, sign onto my email and looked at the time and once again cursed out loud. Went into Hannah's room to wake her up and realized she was not there . . . she was cuddled up in a ball on the bottom of my bed. I leaned over and tickled her and pressed kisses all over her so she'd wake up. I turned the new on because I had a feeling there would be no school today. She finally jumped up from a supposed "sound sleep" when I uttered the words "Abington has no school today cookie". She jumps up and starts getting dressed knowing full well where her day of fun would be. . . At my mom's. She is so figgan cute man. At that very moment is when I smiled my first smile of the day. Watching her put her sloppy boots on and her Boston Red Sox hat because that was the hat I was wearing.
I walk miserably through the snow piles to my snow covered car. After a few minutes of dusting it off and many many curse words, my attractive neighbor walks over and offers his hand. I quickly sat back and pretended I was useless as he cleaned every inch off with a smile. Man I wish he was single. He would so be mine.
Now I am off to work. I drove aimlessly to work. I was tired.
So here I am. Another day of the same friggan thing. Balancing millions of dollars, cutting paychecks triple what I receive and living in complete envy while doing it.
I have found myself completely addicted to MYSPACE. You should check it out. www.myspace.com
It is a wonder to me. I can't seem to get enough of it actually. It's quite nauseating. However, there are a ton of up and coming GREAT bands I have found. I am excited about that.
Bla Bla Bla Bla.. I have lost my motivation to write again. I think I have A.D.D.
I just cannot stay focused anymore.
Fuck! I used to love to write. I also used to have alot to say. Maybe this is the underlying issue here. I used to live a wild and crazy life. And while I still do live a crazy life, it is not as often. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I feel as though I am lacking something now. I was never at a loss for words and all of a sudden I am.
I think it's time I spice it up again. Bring it up a notch or two.
This monogamous, never changing daily routine I have grown accustomed to is just not hacking it.
Alright peeps. I am so going to get some work done.
Talk to you tomorrow . . maybe. . if my newly acquired A.D.D. does not beat me tomorrow as well.
xoxo
Ciao'
Ruby
www.rubysfire.com
posted by Yours Truly, Katie at 1/27/2005 02:16:00 PM
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