Ahhhhh. It is the big Job interview today. The chance of a ligetime. The thing I have wanted to do my entire life. Oh I just drool about the control, about the salary, about the benefits. If I wasn't all pretty right now I would cry. As much as I have loved this well deserved "vacation" so to speak.... it's time for the princess to get back to work. IT actually all worked out quite well because I ended up getting alot done with the book and all. At any rate... I don't have the job YET but if I get it... this means a whole different world. A whole different oppurtunity and a chance to finally get one step ahead. I am interviewing with one of the biggest General Contractors in the New England Area. Their headquartes are out of New York City but have an office in Boston and the position they are looking to fill is Senior Account Manager. I have always been Jr. Account Manager or just Account Manager. A friend of mine, David, who also is in the Construction field got me the interview. They were pretty impressed by my resume. This is my first interview. There is a course of 3 interviews in all just to fill this position. There will only be 5 prospective people interviewed and 3 of them are already employees. (which in any case, makes it alot tougher to win them over). But I have all intentions of selling myself and seemingly enough, I am exceptional at that. It is one of my assets. Ha! One of the best things I inherited from my daddy is my first impression on people. Strong shake, look em' in the eye and smile your charm smile. They love that. I can hear my daddy mack saying it right now. HA! I already talked to him this morning as I lay in bed begging for another 5 minutes of sleep. Hannah wouldn't get up. We were at my mother's late last night. So the poor thing was exhausted so I let her sleep extra late. But I am talking to my dad as I am trying to figure out what I am going to wear and I just asked him to watch over me today and asked him to help me wihn them over and then help me make a healthy and righteous decision. I had a feeling he was there with me. I just can tell. I said to him that I was sorry that I only talk to him when I "need" him so to speak and I could almost hear him laughing. I know he doesn't mind. He just wants everyone to be ok now that he isnt here to pick up all of the pieces. God. He was my rock. He was my idol. He was everything I wanted to be. I loved him so incredibly much that it still hurts. My father was the smartest man, the most professional, and the most successful man I have ever known. I can still see him sitting at the table in the morning eating his Cheerios and sitting in his expensive pants with the suspenders hanging down with his white v neck t-shirt, waiting to put his dress shirt on so he won't wrinkle it. He was always immaculate. From the top of his head to the tips of his fingertips... He was handsome, clean and strong. And he was always happy. He always smiled and he loved his "girls". All 7 of them. haha Poor bastard. But he never complained. Spoiled us all in his own way. No matter what I chose to do he always supported my decision and when I fell he was right there to give me a hug or lead me the other way. Now he is gone. He was robbed from us and it just is not fair. It wasn't an easy robbery either. He didn't want to stop living. It was so sad to watch the one man I have ever known in my life.. The one strong and powerful man fade away. I don't think I will ever be the same. I think that the weeks that followed my dad's death were the worst weeks of my life. I didnt want to live. I had a break down. I couldnt eat, sleep or get out of my bed. I didnt want to talk to anyone. I wanted no part of anybody. I just wanted my daddy back. As much as I wanted him to die because he was in so much pain and it truly was a blessing... I wanted him back even if he was sick. Atleast I knew that he was there and I could see him and touch his hand and feel his breath. Now I can't even see him. . . let alone touch him. And it is like when we buried him May 11th 2000, I was buried with him. I don't think I will ever be the same. Well there goes my pretty face. Now I have to wash it and re apply the cosmetics. Why do I do this to myself?