LOST

I cannot eat, sleep or breathe without him. I feel like someone has punched through my chest and ripped my heart out. I don't understand why H is doing this to me. I know he cares alot for me and I love him and I feel so out of control right now. I feel helpless and hopeless and I feel as though I have no control over any of it. I hate feeling like this. THIS PORTION OF THE B BLOG HAS BEEN BLOCKED and Now I am alone and miserable.
Oh and Brian, if you are reading this.... LEAVE ME ALONE. we are not together anymore. We have not been for sometime now and I seriously have nothing else to say to you. So take it from me first.... LEAVE ME ALONE....... I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. AND NO!! WE CANNOT BE JUST FRIENDS. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE AND NEVER WILL BE. Got that ????
Good.
Well I am off to the Tattoo Shop in a few. Christian is supposed to he drawing a devils skull for me with bright purple eyes and then he might fix my devils sun if I really want to feel the pain.... we'll see how miserable I am when I go there. Yeah I am a freak!!!!
But pain takes away from the pain I have in my heart..... ahhhhhh it really does!!!