DREAMS

I am finally able to sit down "stress-free" and blog. I wish I had more time ...seriously I do. I say this yet I was just thinking of picking up another part time job..... yeah you heard me correctly, as if 2 jobs aren't sufficient already...let me get a third job. Christmas is killing me, my house just will not stay tidy and I have 400 pounds of laundry begging me to clean it. I am so frustrated. At any rate I am relaxed and less stressed today. IT seems as though all of my stress is "melting" away...slowly but definitely surely. I could definitely go for a vacation. A REAL vacation but I won't fuss even if it is only for a few days. I am not picky. I just need to get out of here for a while.
DREAM DREAM DREAM is all I can really do. Whether it happens or not is not the point. I was talking to Tony tonight and I was expressing my stress and aggravation I was enduring at the moment and he didn't even flinch. He only chuckled and sort of relaxed me really. It was a great thing actually. It seems as though I am less stressed when he surrounds me. I tend to let things go more. Excellent if I do say so myself. Tony got me dreaming of a "better" place...a better kind of life. What could be better than a life with my beautiful daughter, my health and her health and a nice home over our heads you might ask? Well a stainless steel kitchen, a larger home, a new car and me having only a part time job perhaps with the health of myself and my daughter and the man I love. Now that would be an ideal life. Is that really too much to ask? I am not asking for billions. Just a different sort of life with a little more gifts. DREAM DREAM DREAM. I hope someday I do get my stainless steel kitchen.. hahah Sounds so petty looking back at my dreams for a stainless steel kitchen but I am not asking for much at all if you think about it ahahha... Whatever
Does anyone believe in Destiny? In Fate? Is there really "ONE" special person out there for each of us? If so what are the odds of actually finding them? Or finding yourself back with them after a decade? Rare right?
I am a true believer now and I could not have asked to run into a better person in the world. I could not have ever imagined that "fate" would take a turn for the best this time. I was always confident I would find him again. In fact I thought of him constantly if not every day it was atleast weekly. I sometimes find myself pinching my forearm thinking that it is not real. After all of these years...and yet I feel as tyhough I have never left his side when I am around him. There is never an awkwardness or an feeling of discomfort. My heart has never fluttered like this and when I look back on all of the "loves" I thought I had I want to chuckle because I never really knew what it felt like to love or be loved. I thought I did but I never did. It was just preparation for the real thing which is what I am feeling ever since that cold Sunday morning that he fell back into my life. What an incredible moment. I will never be the same again.