VOID
Well last night will be a night I will always remember.
I went out to eat with the family and then was interrupted by a phone call and excused myself from the table. It was a man on the other end and he simply said "Who are you having dinner with? And who is the man to your right?" I said I am having dinner with my family and the man t my right is my uncle. Who the fuck are you? He then continued to tell me that my presence at the Clubhouse has been requested as soon as possible. And then I knew. It was definitely time to go.
I grabbed my purse kissed everyone goodbye and was so excited going to my truck. I immediately called my H and said "What was that about?. and he said well you told me that you dreaded going to this dinner and I figured I would rescue you. I thought that was sweet of him and then told him I only dreaded it because I was feeling ill. And he said well get your ass to the clubhouse and you will feel better before you know it. When I got there It was busy and everyone was drinking and watching American Choppers and then someone put on Easy Riders and we watched that. Then we decided to visit the FW Club and we went there and partied the night away. I saw my favorite Leo there and we just had such a good time. At about 2:00 am We decided to take one last ride to the Wid Club and just continued there and had even more fun. Then it was really chilly and Thank God I live a stone throw away from the W Club because I was not riding for a long time with that freezing air. I as usual was the only girl and every single time that happens I am so spoiled. Especially since I am H's Lady because he is high up. So They spoil me to get on his good graces. I had a blast, spent no money and still got a great buzz and had alot of nice presents. I was talking to my friend Renae earlier and I was explaining my thoughts of my "relationship" with H and she said that she thinks I am only using him to fill my void. And it's funny because my friend Chrissy thinks that that is what I am doing to. I don't know though. It is weird because when I am with him I am always happy. He goes out of his way to make me happy. He includes me in a lot of things that he does and not all of his brothers do that. I feel important but I also feel as though I have alot of babysitters around me at all times and I feel as though I am dating the entire group. I don't know. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am just trying to fill this void that I have in my heart. But isnt that what I was foing with Brian? Filling the void that Billy gave me when he left? I mean what is going to happen now? Won't I always just be filling a void for someone? Who knows. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?
I went out to eat with the family and then was interrupted by a phone call and excused myself from the table. It was a man on the other end and he simply said "Who are you having dinner with? And who is the man to your right?" I said I am having dinner with my family and the man t my right is my uncle. Who the fuck are you? He then continued to tell me that my presence at the Clubhouse has been requested as soon as possible. And then I knew. It was definitely time to go.
I grabbed my purse kissed everyone goodbye and was so excited going to my truck. I immediately called my H and said "What was that about?. and he said well you told me that you dreaded going to this dinner and I figured I would rescue you. I thought that was sweet of him and then told him I only dreaded it because I was feeling ill. And he said well get your ass to the clubhouse and you will feel better before you know it. When I got there It was busy and everyone was drinking and watching American Choppers and then someone put on Easy Riders and we watched that. Then we decided to visit the FW Club and we went there and partied the night away. I saw my favorite Leo there and we just had such a good time. At about 2:00 am We decided to take one last ride to the Wid Club and just continued there and had even more fun. Then it was really chilly and Thank God I live a stone throw away from the W Club because I was not riding for a long time with that freezing air. I as usual was the only girl and every single time that happens I am so spoiled. Especially since I am H's Lady because he is high up. So They spoil me to get on his good graces. I had a blast, spent no money and still got a great buzz and had alot of nice presents. I was talking to my friend Renae earlier and I was explaining my thoughts of my "relationship" with H and she said that she thinks I am only using him to fill my void. And it's funny because my friend Chrissy thinks that that is what I am doing to. I don't know though. It is weird because when I am with him I am always happy. He goes out of his way to make me happy. He includes me in a lot of things that he does and not all of his brothers do that. I feel important but I also feel as though I have alot of babysitters around me at all times and I feel as though I am dating the entire group. I don't know. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am just trying to fill this void that I have in my heart. But isnt that what I was foing with Brian? Filling the void that Billy gave me when he left? I mean what is going to happen now? Won't I always just be filling a void for someone? Who knows. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel?
posted by Yours Truly, Katie at 10/19/2003 03:42:00 PM
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