Have you ever been so sick that when you take your medicine you get so weak and start imagining things? Like sort of hallucinate?
I am on antibiotics for my cold and flu and I also took some Nyquil tonight to help me sleep. Well Dear Goddess, I have never been so high. I am exhausted. Completely exhausted. I have never felt like this. I am sitting on the couch like 8 minutes ago channel surfing and I called to my sister to grab me a glass of orange juice before she came back. Ummm Katie, you live alone!!!! My sister was not here but I had just been thinking about her because I was just talking about how I got her for the Christmas Grab and she got me! I had to actually shake my head from side to side as if that were going to alter my brain. Now I was getting a little scared. So I called H and told him I wasnt feeling any better and that maybe I should go to the emergency room and the way it came out to him was. "Hi, I am very sick and I need you to bring me the magazine on my steps so I can read it. I took it from the hospital."
And he was like "Babe, Are you alright? I am going to come over and help you. I don't think you are thinking straight. What kind of steroids do they have you on?" So I shook my head again after realizing what I said I just started laughing. I am like What the Fuck right. My doctor told me I could not go on the flight tonight. I had to wait until the morning. I hope to Goddess I feel better tomorrow. My whole body is aching. The medicines do not seem to be helping, my new shower is getting put in tomorrow and I am in no shape to direct anyone to construct anything. I am like a mental patient right now. I just scrubbed my kitchen floor and I then took bleach to the bathroom. I sanitized and disinfected every inch of the bathroom in hopes that I will kill whatever virus haunting my house. (I think perhaps, now that I am thinking a little more clearly, that the stench of the bleach I was inhaling for 40 minutes could very well have been the culpret of my hallucinations). What an idiot I am. I am so sick and I take these steroids for my breathing and It makes me act like I could possibly run the Marathon and win.. I cleanse every centimeter of my home, boil my sheets and pillow cases, throw away all tooth brushes and lipstick and mascara and eye liner pencils and now I am so worn out.... I don't want to fall asleep. Everytime I am about to fall asleep I feel like I am crushing my lungs and I am afraid I will stop breathing. I need H to stay up all night to make sure I am breathing. He is going to kill me when I tell him that. But no, seriously, I feel like I am suffocating inside. That is how sick I am. That is how severe my cold is. When I prop myself up on pillows I get that falling sensation and I jerk my body awake. I hate that feeling. Do you know what I am talking about? When you are almost at that sleeping state and you feel like you are falling... and you jump? Oh my Goddess, that is all I have been doing. I cannot win. If I fall asleep I have bad or weird dreams that I try to analyze way too much and If I try sleeping sitting up.. I fall.
AHAHAHA It must be the medicines I am on. I am going to take another puff of my inhaler, go put on some herbal tea, throw some chamomile and spearamint in it and drink a gallon of it.
Then I will rest soundly.... On top of the Nyquil capsules that should be dissolved by now........
Good night.
I hope everyone else is having a splendid slumber....
I just want to get better...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Katie